November 8, 2009

WARNING: Solid Game is not enough…

Hey there,

I want to run a quick thought by you.

Who here would consider themselves to be ‘good’ with women?

For those of you who are, you understand that meeting women and attracting your ideal type of girl (or girls) is a numbers game.

It’s a numbers game just like finding and attracting your ideal job.  It’s all about realizing that it’s a numbers game and increasing your odds.

How can you increase your odds of finding and having the ideal women in your life?

Well, some in the Pickup Industry will make you believe that it’s all about Game.  Some might even say that it’s ‘just’ about getting good with women and that it’s not a numbers game.  Beware of those people who claim that.

Others in the Pickup Industry will briefly mention how improving other areas in your life will help.  The thing is that they don’t mention about how much leverage those other things are, nor how much leverage each one of those other aspects are.

I’m telling you to that you must build up on other aspects of yourself.

You must be and stay in good shape!

You must be sure that you speak the same language as the country (or at least understand some basics!)

You must groom and smell good.

You must be able to bring new experiences to a woman. Not just through language and game, but also through where you take her and what you guys do together.

If you want the TOP quality women in Korea (and perhaps in the world) you must build on many strengths, and use leverage as much as possible.

Finally, even though you’ve built yourself up, you must market yourself properly. That’s why you want to go out regularly and meet a certain amount of women per week.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

 

BlueM

 

November 5, 2009

Don’t Settle!

Hey guys,
I was reading an article from Men’s Health where the guy said that if ever you are in the dating scene and can’t seem to make things work, simply lower your standards.

This is a BIG mistake! Never compromise your self-esteem for the sake of being with a woman. It will hurt you I promise. Never end up looking the mirror, knowing that you’ve settled into your relationship.

Now that’s different than being in a relationship that you’re settling in WHILE working to make better things happen.

Women do it all the time. In fact, it’s called the ‘Grapevine effect’, where women will swing from one guy (grapevine) and will only let him go once they have a good grip on another grapevine (credit: Kid44)

So what if you’re in the dating scene and can’t seem to make things work? That means that you need to change two things:

- Your approach

- The amount of new women you meet.

Now, if you’re good and have been able to meet women in the past and make things happen, then simply increase (AND BE WILLING TO) increase the amount of women you meet a week.

For me, when I’m not in the relationship situation I want, I meet 30 new women a week. I keep track, and run the law of averages that has worked for me in the past. If the law of averages get better, then that’s cool BUT that won’t change the fact that you’re gonna meet more women.

Remember: GO for what you want. NEVER settle. GO through your process and BELIEVE that it will happen…and it will.

Thanks for reading.

BlueM

November 3, 2009

Interacting with Korean women compared to Western women

Interacting with Korean women compared to Western women

Interacting with Western women is like playing a “Pin ball” machine.

You see, Western women act like balls of energy that go all over the place. It’s your job to guide the ball towards where you want it both to go, as good as you can.

Western women are much more talkative and restless. They will try to take the conversation topic from you, and are not impressed nearly as much as Korean women when it comes to you being able to talk to them and be social.

It’s your job to guide it back in place (not literally) and yes, all those feminist Western women who have forgotten about their own femininity will disagree with what I’ve just said. If you happen to be a hard-core feminist and wand to discuss my opinion, my email is BlueMystery@PickupAsia.com. Feel free to email me.

On the other hand, Western women are much more open with their sexuality.

They are much more comfortable with being sexual in public, whether it means dressing sexual or simply acting sexual. They are more comfortable with wanting sex and especially open at letting people know about it, more so than Korean women.

Interacting with Korean women is much more like playing golf. They will be comfortable with the feminine energy, and will expect you to lead the interaction. They understand and will agree on the fact that it’s your job to get the ball (the interaction) into the hole.

On the other hand, Korean women are much more conservative in public, and when you interact with them, you must re-calibrate. When I interact with Korean women, I act as if I’m interacting with a little girl: I’m more laid back, add some cuteness and softness in my voice, and talk basic English! (one of the biggest mistakes I see guys make is that they talk to Korean women using the same English that they would use with Westerners. This is why “routines” don’t work and that’s why we don’t teach them at PickupAsia.

I don’t kino them as much, and when I do kino them, I only leave my hand there for a few seconds and not more.

Korean women are also not as open as Western women when it comes to talking about their sexuality. In Korea, they dress very sexy but their attitudes aren’t congruent. Don’t let their clothing fool you! They are much more conservative and you will be expected to lead the interaction towards any sexual and romantic ends you foresee. She will let you know, through her feedback, about whether or not she wants to go there with you as well.

Thanks for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

BlueM

November 1, 2009

Who rejects first, Men or Women?

Who do you think reject first, men or women?

No, this isn’t meant to be the latest opinion opener. It’s something that is worth thinking about.

You see, in cultures around the world, we are meant to believe that women are the choosers and are those who reject first.

I say that it’s invalid.  I say that we’re missing a first piece of the puzzle.
Think about it: What do guys even have to do before they can even get rejected? They have to be willing enough to go talk to the woman!

For that to happen, the men have to like the woman enough to go up and talked to her!

We believe that women have sexual choice over men?  That’s true, but only of the men that actually go talk to her!

SO what’s my point?

My point is that men not women reject first!  If we see a woman that doesn’t meet a man’s standards of physical attractiveness, she will be rejected by that man.

Now, the beautiful thing is that an ugly woman for one man might be a beautiful woman for another man.  So women who don’t meet society’s standards of beauty, will meet some men’s standards of beauty, and that might be enough for men to go up and talk to her.
Thanks for reading.

BlueM

October 28, 2009

The life of John and Tim

Hey guys,

This is in response to an email I got from a student who seemed to be doing all the right things, but still wasn’t getting anywhere.

He bought products, changed his lines, went ‘natural’ but still couldn’t solve the basic problem of having, but most importantly, enjoying a love life.

A lot of how we do comes from the context in which we do things in.
I’m going to share two stories of two different individuals who are living the same lives but get different results.

Let me tell you the story of John.

John was a guy who spent everyday going for a chocolate
that he didn’t care for much, but he liked it.  It was delicious, but it’s “a non-essential luxury”

Now the problem is that to get that chocolate, he had to cross a border to another country, and between where he is,
and the other country is a field of mines that he had to cross.

This was a bummer because any wrong movement would cost him an arm or a leg, which in his mind, wasn’t really worth
the chocolate but he went for it anyway.

Now here’s the interesting part: There were two different kinds of mines.  One type of mines were green colored whereas the
other mines were blue colored.

The green colored mines were put there by the bordering country, just to tell the crossers to watch their step as they proceed, and
to proceed more slowly or quickly.  The blue colored mines….well….no one knew where they came from…until now.

You see when John was sleeping, he would sometimes wake up with durt in his fingernails and he never figured out where it came from, until someone saw him at night, and told him the reality:

the dangerous, deadly and lethal blue mines were being put all over the field by John himself….

This sounds illogical and unreasonable, but our lives are not led by our logic, but by our emotions….

Do you see where you can relate to John?  Don’t we all, sometimes, act like John?

Now here’s another story of Tim.

Tim was a guy who spent his days going for what he genuinely wanted: chocolate..and made no excuses for what he wanted.
For him, eating the chocolate was one of those amazing experiences that life had to offer, and his genuine enjoyment of it allowed him to take the experience of eating chocolate and make it even more wonderful..like an art in itself.  He would also bring some back to share it with people he liked, and would guide them towards enjoying it as well!

Although for him to get the chocolate, he too, had to go through a mine field, but he saw the field in different ways:

- for one thing, each path to the chocolate is different. Some paths have more mines and others have little to no mines…it’s just as if the country wanted you to enjoy the chocolate…and wanted its chocolate to be enjoyed by you…

- for another thing, he understood that putting the blue mines around was a choice that he made or didn’t make, whether consciously or subconsciously.

It was up to him.

If he did place blue mines in his sleep, and realized it, he would do whatever it took to change his thinking and habits so that he didn’t place those mines anymore. So that he could go back at enjoying the chocolate.

Who do you think lives a more satisfying life?  John or Tim?
You see, our perception of reality affects our life, which we already know about.

What we don’t know is how, why and to what extent do our perceptions about certain things affect us.

The best way we can look at how we’re changing or what we’ve changed in, is by reading stories, watching movies, or listening to songs that we’ve read before, and noticing the changes in how we think and react to what we’ve read, seen, or listened to.

Get good at taking a step back and looking at what you’re doing in your life.

Thanks for reading!

BlueM

October 23, 2009

What YOU can learn from American Beauty

americanbeauty

Have you ever watched a movie that you perhaps saw once and didn’t give it much  thought…..but then a few years later, out of the blue, you watch it again and…somehow…you see it in a whole new way, and learn much more.

Has that ever happened to you?

Well, for me I’ve had that while watching American beauty with a girl I’m dating and RedpoleQ.

For one thing, you notice how the main character, Lester Burnham, is stuck in a rut called “life” and even though, to an extent he knows that he needs to change….doesn’t.
And then it happens…

Something that happens to everyone, both men and women.

He gets something that is condoned by the Church and, to some extent, the current societal structure: Lust…

He sees his daughter’s friend and feels something that we all feel regularly in our lives: the feeling of genuinely, and selfishly wanting something.

This, ladies and gentleman, is what I believe to be one of the cores of everything we do.  Lust is the feeling that makes us want to improve ourselves, our job situation, our fashion, our health, and our lives in order for us to attract and keep the best mate possible.

The biggest mistake most people make, is that they take in that feeling, and then like a candle with a small flame being blown at, it gets put out. Instead of the wind of the outside, it’s our own suppressing thoughts and feelings, given to us by society not for the sake of keeping us away from what we want, but rather to keep us safe.
The issue is that in exchange for safety, which in my opinion is an illusion, you take away your life.  This is what Lester realized.  He realized that in the end, you have “nothing to lose”, and he went for what he wanted.  First tho, he did the hardest thing ever.

He admitted to himself what it was that he wanted. He wanted a good sexual experience or relationship, and he worked on himself and his situation to make it happen.
The beauty about his situation was that, once you get into a positive cycle of self-improvement that spawns from something you genuinely want, it that cycle picks up momentum and you bring in more good things into your life.

Another interesting situation was that of his wife Caroline.  She really needed to be fucked by a solid, strong man who has a mission in his life.  Not to mention that he’s financially successful and holds and takes care of himself really well.

Granted, I’m not advocating cheating. I am advocating modeling from the guy “The King” and learning his mannerisms, but not his philosophy of life, which interestingly holds the key to the main issue of the movie: We live lives we don’t want to live, and we hide it with a social mask for the fear of being judged or more.

Anyway, I recommend watching that movie American Beauty again, simply because it’s a masterpiece.  To make it even more meaningful, watch it with someone who you care about and who cares about you.
Thanks,
BlueM

October 21, 2009

Pick up skills for more than just pick up

Hey guys,
it just occurred to me how useful pickup skills are for other things in your life.
Granted, simply by going for the women you want, you also develop the habits and willpower to improve yourself as ytwoboogirlsou’re going
for what you want.  Both things are healthy for any individual.
It just so happens that learning Pickup Skills are also helpful for people, not just with communication, but also presentation and
persuasion.
I really start noticing how useful and influencial these skills are when my girls start using it on ME! Now, whether or not they are using
it consciously or not is another issue. But I can feel myself agreeing with them and setting myself up for their schedule and notice that they
are using the same language patterns as I am.

Now it’s all good as long as the intentions are there as well as the whole thing being legal, moral, and ethical.

I’ve also noticed how useful the skills are for professions as well, especially for sales and marketing.
I went to a party yesterday, and I have some friends who hold events in Seoul. Using my ability to socialize, bounce, build rapport, etc…to
such a predicable level, I was able to help my friends present their events to people (both men and women) that they hadn’t been able to
previously.
Needless to say, this helps my friends promote their events, helps the women get invited to special parties, AND helps me by getting me into these
special parties.
Another thing I’ve noticed is how similar the model that we teach in our Boot Camps are very similar to what is being taught in business seminars to present
a product.
For example, we teach:
-Open
-Attract
-Qualify
-Comfort
-Sexcalate
Escalate the relationship to the next level (close the deal, start dating, etc…)
Well, when presenting one’s self in business, a famous presentation method used by T. Harv Ecker is:
- Meet me
- Like me
- Trust me
- Buy from me
These are quite similar as attracting a woman or person is the same as getting them to like you. The next step, with qualifying and building comfort is about getting the person you’re interacting with to trust you.
Finally, sexcalating and escalating the relationship is the same as getting them to buy from you.
All this is quite useful in my book.
Anyways, these are just things that I wanted to share that I’ve learned lately.
Thanks for reading!

BlueM

October 19, 2009

Don’t do this!

Check this out: http://saemin.textcube.com/2

Don’t ever….EVER get so into ‘male-female’ dynamics to this point WITHOUT the amount of practice and experience to back it up.

I’ve been doing this for a while and have been with people who have done this for a while AND been successful, and even THEY don’t post anything REMOTELY as confusing as this =/

I will give him props on trying to understand the understandable.

It’s like the old joke:
“There was one man who finally understood women…but he died of laughter before he could say anything”.

Trying to understand women is like trying to understand life: you don’t. You simply learn and do what you can to build what you want with it, as much as you both want, and move on in your life!

Don’t get caught up in these 3 part advanced theories!

I’ve said my piece.

BlueM

October 18, 2009

Hyewa in my Dreams

Hey guys,
so RedpoleQ and I hung out with some of our Korean Boot Camp clients in Hyewa, which was a good change of pace. Lately, I haven’t had the chance to just spend an afternoon meeting people, let alone women, simply because of other projects.

Granted, that’s no excuse. None of us, if we really want the kind of women and relationships we want, are exempt because of excuses.

Basically, I’m not working it hard enough, in spite of meeting women.

On the other hand, I am using a new model to meet women, called Dreams (which is wayy different than the typical Boot Camp (BC) model that we first teach students, derived from the M3 model).

It is more designed to get you attracting the women of your dreams, while being able to disqualify women who don’t fit.

It is done by using a more heavy disqualification approach to meeting women, so there’s no “plowing” and no “pushing to the limit”.  There’s a “I’ll go talk to her and either she likes me, or she doesn’t. In any case, I’ll give her a chance”.
What I like about it is that it acknowledges the fact that most woman are not looking for anything right now, and not with you.  In fact, only a select few of the women out there, will see you as their “type”.  let’s say that 3/10 women you talk to will genuinely be into for who you are, your style, impression, and when you come into their life (which really doesn’t matter if you’re her type).

So you approach 10 women, and 3 out those 10 will be into you. The beauty is that if you look at how many women are on the planet, there are millions upon millions of women who are genuinely into you for YOU and your current style. You just need to go out and SCREEN for them.

Anyway, I have been running that model lately, and although I am getting lots of phone numbers, the tough part is that you can’t really kino them because once you find them, you need to get them more and more into you.

You do this by holding back, and letting her chase YOU.  Women love to chase things.  If you make yourself like the Jewel of the Nile and she’s Lara Croft, then she’ll love you.

So I had a date with a really cute girl who speaks English, likes Arabic culture is sexual and much more.  I could’ve taken her back home…but I chose not too.

You see, if she knows that you’re an alpha guy, and you’re holding back…that makes her even more wet for you because she’s confused!

Women love to play around with the “he loves me, he loves me not!” concept, whereas us men just love to have something either this way, or the other.

Women love tension.  Look at the Harlequin Novels! They just keep presenting that tension in different ways through different stories, and end up having 100 new books come out every month!

Anyway, I will admit that using Dreams has been frustrating lately, simply because I see women that I know I can fuck, but I’m holding back for something more…let’s say, intense.

Anyway, Hyewa was no good on a Sunday. the pickings were slim, and the pretty women were taken.

Don’t go there on a Sunday afternoon, if you intend on searching for your ideal woman or women.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I’ll post something else later on as well.

BlueM

October 12, 2009

First Boot Camp with Korean Clients!

Hey everyone,

Sorry that I’ve been away.  I want to come back and share my adventures with you.
Lately I’ve been doing Boot Camps regularly for PickupAsia in Korea, and mainly helping Korean men.

Interestingly, the differences between teaching Korean clients in Korean and expats who speak English goes beyond the language barriers.  There are also serious mental blocks that are holding Korean men back from having the kind of relationships they want.

Did you know?

For most Korean men, they lose their virginity to a random hostess that their military buddies take them to, during their years of military service.

Can you imagine the kind of frames about women that this puts into their heads?

Not to mention that most Korean men go to Booking clubs to get with women.  According to the article, going to such a place “requires no effort” so then the whole meeting/interacting/dating process is skipped.

I’ll talk more about how this actually hurts Korean men more than helps them in a later post. For now, I’m going to go more into how the Boot Camp went.

When RedpoleQ and I first took on the challenge, we assumed that the Korean clients would learn and apply the knowledge the same way that our expat counterparts had.  We were wrong.

The first hurdle was to get them to even talk to women.  In spite of the stories, examples, instructions, learned lessons, etc…it seemed that talking to a complete stranger was more foreign to our Korean clients than I thought.

EVEN when I would open sets and then bring them into the groups, they would still literally freeze.
One of our clients, who will go as Mr. Park, would literally build a more solid relationship with the ground he was standing on, and would not budge!

This was one of our first major challenges.
Another one had to do with the beliefs that our Korean clients, and probably Koreans in general, believe:  It’s easy for foreign men to meet and date Korean women, but it’s difficult for us!

I’ve been here for close to 3 years now, and I can tell you that it’s no where NEAR being true.

I wrote a blog a few years ago here that still holds true today.

We asked them, and I’m asking you: Are there ANY Korean song videos, movies, or Dramas where the foreigner is the good guy who gets the girl?

In fact, it’s more difficult for foreigners to have relationships with gorgeous women here.  Thankfully, my ebook helps deal with a lot of the issues so that you can come out on top.

We ended up shortening the amount of knowledge we gave them, and replaced it with more field time/in-set feedback.

This was working well during the second night, but that’s when we noticed something else:

Our Korean clients showed a great deal of knowledge about game and what openers to use, etc…but were really uncomfortable with practice.

In other words, they were in their ivory towers, and it was hard to get them out of there and into the field.
Ultimately, it was a great learning experience, and I didn’t even talk about the language barrier!

I’ll be getting into that more with my next post on our second Boot Camp with Korean clients.

Thanks for reading!

BlueM