Hey everyone!
Sorry for not having been on for a while. Anyway, here I go with a question for you…
Let’s say you’re working to achieve something (like having a stress-free lifestyle, or making traveling a part of your life) and let’s say you achieve that something sooner than you thought:
Would you still go through the work to get it? Or would you stop working and would enjoy what you’ve just got?
In my case, I know that many men (and women) learn Korean to attract a Korean partner (or partners).
I know that I’m learning Korean so that I can better communicate with the women I bring into my life, and so that they can share more of their feelings and such with me.
But let’s say that I accidentally met a woman that Korean woman that I can communicate better with, and that with whom I can already share feelings (and more). Would I need to study Korean anymore?
What if I’m in the middle of my semester?
This is an important question because we all need to remember what we’re doing stuff for and for whom we’re doing it. Too many people for get that and end up using money and time for things they don’t need! ㅜㅜ
If my goal was to attract a partner and better speak with her, then learning Korean is a waste of my time in this case.
Granted, if I wanted to simply improve my Korean to make my life here more enjoyable, then I would keep studying (which is my case thankfully ^^).
Keep an eye on what you want, go for it, and know when you’ve got it so that you can enjoy other things in your life.
Anyways, just my humble opinion. What do you think?
Blue
As long as you are making progress in learning Korean, then my recommendation is to keep studying. If you’re underperforming in the class then it’s okay to give it up. Here are my reasons: It’s easy to communicate early in a relationship, but as time goes on people lose patience and communication grows harder. Your girlfriend will respect you more if you are competent in her language and she isn’t always forced to use English. Acquiring Korean language shows that you are able to apply yourself to going after a challenging goal. On the other hand, if you’re not gifted in languages then you should go ahead and stop at being “good enough” in Korean. Struggling and failing isn’t attractive in any culture. Also, if learning Korean is making you act “overly polite” or like a Korean wannabe then it’s probably better to stop. She values you more for what makes you different from other guys (your bold American personality) although in some cases being good at Korean can make you seem different and more valuable compared to the other Americans around. Just my two cents.
Russell,
thank you very much for your post. Mind if I share it with everyone else?
There is gold here: “She values you more for what makes you different from other guys.”
This is so important that both Koreans and Foreigners miss it.
Koreans, show us your Korean identity! Be proud of who you are and share it with the rest of us. Trying to act like a Westerner makes Westerners lose respect for you and Western women are dating you because they want the ‘Korean’ experience! 대-한민국! ^^
Foreigners, understand that Korean women are dating you because you are different! Show your foreign identity and be comfortable with not knowing much of Korean culture (granted, also be willing to learn it!)
For now, I am learning Korean for both myself and so that I can communicate with Korean men and women more.
I want to hear their opinions and share mine.
Make love, not war!
Again Russell, thanks for sharing this. You are absolutely right and I need to make sure I remember who and what I’m doing things for.
BlueM
I think it’d be important to keep studying,as your goal is to get better in Korean.
It’s always important to have goals outside of your relationships,and it’d be especially good to keep studying,because you never know how long that relationship might last;then you’re back to meeting women who you may not be able to communicate as well with.
I also think quitting a goal for the sake of a woman could cause her to lose attraction for you.
Alright from my many relationships with korean girls I can recommend three courses of action related to studying korean here:
1. Find a girl who can speak english well (there are many korean girls here who can do so) and use english as your primary communication language with korean as spice from time to time.
2. Study korean until you are FLUENT in it, and then go after any girl you see in the book store/coffee shop/university campus/etc..
3. Learn a little bit of Korean, meet a korean girl that barely speaks english, have sex after three or four meets and then prepare for a relationship that will (almost guarenteed) die off over one-four months.
That’s all there is.
Well that’s depressing.